Listen

I remind myself every morning: Nothing I say this day will teach me anything. So if I'm going to learn, I must do it by listening - Larry King

Learning to stay quiet takes practice. It's not something that comes naturally for some of us; it's truly not a common trait. But it is something that is needed a lot; that is, if we want to be successful in coordinating people's emotions with their actions.

Talking to or at people doesn't really solve anything. It could actually escalate their emotional state for the worse and nothing would be accomplished, as a result.

Learn to listen and things could and would get resolved faster.

Good Listener

Ever needed someone just to hear you out?  Someone to talk to that doesn't necessarily have to say anything back....just a listening ear?  A lot of times, I find myself not being that friend.  Not all the time, but sometimes.  I have a really good sister who tells me that I do this often .... or she will often say at the beginning of her conversation "Queen, you do not need to say anything, just listen"  :).  Naturally, I am a good listener, but (it is true) I often find myself mentally preparing a response as I am listening.  Although this is a good thing, its not always great. 

I don't know about your friends but each one of mine are totally different....opinionated, desperate, competitive, strong-willed, dramatic, emotional, non-confrontational, scared, full of life, tired (all the time), hurt, broken etc.   Yeah, this just about sums up all of my close friends.  And we need all these types of personalities, to keep life fun and balanced.

And this listening without necessarily responding thing is something that I need to learn hard.  Its good to know that I can talk to someone and they are truly there (in the moment), to hear me out.  Not to say that you do not have an opinion, but it doesn't always have to be heard!

Let's practice this....

A More Excellent Life

From the Leader's Edge Column, by John Maxwell

Do you need help in your career? Your marriage? Or maybe you're searching for a better life in general? If so, consider pursuing excellence, which is a generally consistent state of high quality that may bring to mind unmatched performance, unusual expertise, or consistent high-quality performance.  In our mnds, we often associate excellence with talent. To be the best, surely you have to be gifted, right?  Excellence has taught me that talent, while important in no way explains excellence. 

Consider this: are people born with a natural gift of marriage excellence?  No matter what area of life you want to improve, you can develop it to a level of excellence with a little know-how.  In fact, the primary pathway to excellence has 3 main steps, none of which depends on talent.

1. Find your passion - you are nothing unless it comes from your heart. If you perform functions only and go to work only to do processes, then you are effectively retired.  And sadly, most people are retired by age 28.  You have to bring passion, commitment and caring - that's what makes you a human being. People of excellence love what they do.  They have learned how to fuel the fire that keeps them moving. What does a passionate person look like? - they work with their whole heart, they work with undistracted attention, and they work with maximum energy.
2. Never cease practicing - passion won't take you anywhere unless you combine it with disciplined practice.  Practice is not the thing you do once you're good, its the thing you do that makes you good.
3. Honor your values - we all could give examples of talented, charismatic people who sabotaged their careers by abandoning their values.  Passion and practice bring excellence, but character eventually topples talent. People cannot climb beyond the limitations of their character.  Eventually, the limelight of success brings to light the cracks in their integrity. 

The fact that excellence isn't something a person is born with should be encouraging ... all you have to do is determine what your passion is and then put in the hours of practice. As long as you stick with it and honor your values along the way, you will reach a level of excellence.

I LOVE THIS ARTICLE!  :)

Pray and Trust

How do you come to prayer?

 

When we are in between flights, what do we do?  Read a magazine, read a book, make a couple of calls, text away... but do we pray? When we have a whole evening without any concrete plans, what do we do?  Watch TV, go to a movie, read another chapter in that book, check your personal emails, make more phone calls, text some more....but do we pray?

 

Realistically, there appears to be empty hours in our lives to pray, so there must be something else getting in the way of prayer than just being too busy!

 

Our ambivalence about prayer reveals to us what kind of God our God is.  God is not someone who just seeks our occasional attention, and waits for our occassional prayers.  He is not someone who can easily do without us and will be quite content when we are willing to spend a couple hours of our weekend talking to Him. If God were that kind of God, then we wouldn't experience so much tension when we enter into His presence to pray.  Those tensions come from the awareness that God is a jealous lover.

 

Deutoronomy 4:24 (The Lord your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God). Moses said this to the people of Israel and Paul said to his brothers and sisters in 2 Corinthians 11:2, that he loved them with the jealous love of God.  God is asking for our total, undivided attention. Not only is He asking for our undivided attention, He is also asking us to trust Him whether things are going well or going against us. 

A great quote I read goes like this "The root of all sin is the suspicion that God isn't good or isn't good enough" (revised). In the times of pain, questioning, anger and frustration, you need to say to God, "I'm not going to stop believing in your goodness, but I've got to know you better. I'm not demanding that you do anything for me.  I'm coming to you just for you."

That, ladies, is an appetite for God.  That's seeking Him with all of your heart.

Prayer and Trust Builders:

• How have you learned to fit times of prayer and focusing on God into spare moments of your day?
• What troubling question do you wish God would answer for you?
• How can you practice coming to God just for Him, without demands?

Practice the Presence

Genesis 28:16 - When Jacob awoke from his sleep, he thought, “Surely the LORD is in this place, and I was not aware of it.”

We need to give God a time slot in our lives every day, but even more than that, God needs to be a presence in our lives all day long, every day. I have decided to establish a habit of practicing the presence of God; and I pray you will too. If it helps to set a timer/watch to remind you every 10-15 minutes, then do so. When your timer goes off, stop and think on God. I heard of a lady who wrote "Jesus" in huge print on a piece of paper and put it on the floor beside her bed, so that when she swung her feet out of the bed in the morning, she'd be reminded to turn her attention to Him. I'm beginning to be more aware of God. I talk to Him about my tensions, and my intentions. I desire to move from knowing theoretically that Christ is in my heart, to desiring intensely a conscious awareness of His nearness. I was like Jacob in Genesis 28:16 who said, "Surely the Lord is in this place, and I was not aware of it." I still fall on my face. At times, my busyness and all my distractions take me far off. In that place, away from His presence, I get uptight, upset and totally ungodly. But by a deliberate act of my will, I submit, re-direct my thoughts and return to His presence and think upon His Word. Self Builders:

• Why is it that a sense of God's nearness is so difficult to keep foremost in our minds?
• What steps can we take to remind ourselves to rejoice in God's presence all day long?

Full Passage: Genesis 28:10-17