If I were going to set out to oppress other people, I would surely prefer to select for my victims persons whose first response is forgiveness rather than persons whose first response is revenge - Jeffrey G. Murphy
Though it's much more fun to return the favor and more to someone who has treated you badly; it really doesn't ever feel like its enough. You always want to do more to get them back for what they did; especially when the other person doesn't show any sign of pain or even remorse.
That's because there is nothing you can do to make an evil person realize how evil they are. You can never inflict enough pain on them. You just can't....
BUT what they aren't expecting from you is pure forgiveness. You start forgiving, you start letting go and letting God, you start thinking of them less and the chains start breaking!
Quit giving the wicked your time and emotions. Disconnect yourself from the hold they once had on you, live your life in freedom and let them suffer in their evil ways! You don't have time for that! :)
Happy Wednesday!
Showing posts with label Forgiveness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Forgiveness. Show all posts
1/30/13
8/9/11
Seeking Forgiveness in our Children
I always felt that kids deserve the same respect we would give any adult, which is why I cannot affored treating my daughter less than the way my Father in heaven would treat me. Now, this doesn't mean that I do anything perfectly.....
There are times when I am sick, grouchy, short, quick tempered, out of grace, tired, hungry etc....and who do I usually take it out on first? Unfortunately, the people closest to me - the ones I love. This is probably right for you too...if you'll be honest.
But I believe this is something we can strive not to do.
Treating our kids any other way than God's best leaves us feeling horrible about ourselves, and leaves them feeling just as horrible about themselves. That's why asking the little ones for forgiveness is a powerful moving-forward tool. You have to allow yourself the freedom to be imperfect and vulnerable; thereby learning to seek forgiveness and still like who you are.
I think some parents are fearful to be vulnerable with their children because they feel they will lose their children's respect if they open up. How can we teach our children to seek forgiveness from others if they do not see that example in us?
Vulnerability Builders:
- When have you felt that you need to be open with your children or loved ones?
- How did you deal with that emotion?
4/14/11
Unforgiveness, Find it and REMOVE it
Six Ways to Find Unforgiveness and Remove It
by Joyce Meyer - posted April 12, 2011
http://www.joycemeyer.org/articles/ea.aspx?article=six_ways_to_find_unforgiveness
Most all of us like getting promoted, and there's nothing wrong with that. But sometimes we fail tests in certain areas that keep us from getting promoted. Areas like forgiveness.
If someone has hurt you, don't spend the next 10 years of your life hurting yourself by hanging on to that offense. Most likely, that other person isn't even thinking about you, while you dwell on the incident for years. That only hurts one person—you. You see, when you forgive someone, you are helping yourself. To help you understand the importance of forgiveness, here are six ways to detect unforgiveness in your own heart. Once exposed, you'll be one step closer to your personal promotion from God.
1) Unforgiveness always keeps score. - In Luke 15:29, the elder brother of the prodigal son said, "Look! These many years I have served you." Peter wanted to know how many times he had to forgive someone. Unforgiveness is always looking at the score. But 1 Corinthians 13:5 says, Love takes no account…. It doesn't count up the evil done to it.
Back in the early days of our marriage, when Dave and I were fussing and fuming at each other, I would bring up stuff that happened years before and Dave would say, "Where do you keep all that stuff?" Well, I had a place, and it was all in there eating at me. And every new thing Dave did wrong would get added to this list, and it kept growing until it became a bitter giant in my heart.
2) Unforgiveness always boasts of its own record. - In Luke 15:29, the older brother of the prodigal son says "These many years I have never done wrong." Judgment always says that I always do good and others do bad. An unforgiving spirit keeps us from God's best for us.
3) Unforgiveness always complains. - "You never do anything for me." Ever catch yourself thinking that about someone? This attitude only sees what others aren't doing and doesn't see what they are doing. God's Word clearly shows that we're not supposed to complain. And if you're continuously using your mouth to complain about some incident of offense, you won't get past it. Don't waste time by complaining.
4) Unforgiveness has a martyr syndrome. - "I do all the work." Workaholics are particularly susceptible to this one. Sometimes people who work all the time and don't know how to enjoy their life get jealous when other people are enjoying life. Is there someone who aggravates you when you see them having a good time? If yes, you could have unforgiveness toward them.
5) Unforgiveness always alienates, divides and separates. - When the kids are acting up, we say "my husband's kids" or maybe something like, "What are you going to do about your son?" Those are divisive statements. Maybe you have a coworker who you stay away from as much as possible or a sibling you don't talk to much…why do you separate yourself from them? Maybe you need to forgive that person.
6) Unforgiveness is always envious and jealous when angry at someone who gets blessed. - If someone who has hurt you gets a blessing, it grates on you…at least it did for me until I learned how to forgive. Forgiveness is a decision—not a feeling.
When you pray for people who have hurt you, it's a choice. But there's healing in that for you. Bless and do not curse them means to speak well and not evil of them when that person is not around. And be good to them in various ways as wisdom allows.
Improve Your Life I want to encourage you today to make a decision to start living a lifestyle of forgiveness and refuse to be offended.
A forgiving lifestyle helps you become more like Christ. As you learn the importance of forgiveness and begin to practice forgiving others, your heart will heal from bitterness, and your personal growth will lead you to the promotions God has planned for you.
by Joyce Meyer - posted April 12, 2011
http://www.joycemeyer.org/articles/ea.aspx?article=six_ways_to_find_unforgiveness
Most all of us like getting promoted, and there's nothing wrong with that. But sometimes we fail tests in certain areas that keep us from getting promoted. Areas like forgiveness.
If someone has hurt you, don't spend the next 10 years of your life hurting yourself by hanging on to that offense. Most likely, that other person isn't even thinking about you, while you dwell on the incident for years. That only hurts one person—you. You see, when you forgive someone, you are helping yourself. To help you understand the importance of forgiveness, here are six ways to detect unforgiveness in your own heart. Once exposed, you'll be one step closer to your personal promotion from God.
1) Unforgiveness always keeps score. - In Luke 15:29, the elder brother of the prodigal son said, "Look! These many years I have served you." Peter wanted to know how many times he had to forgive someone. Unforgiveness is always looking at the score. But 1 Corinthians 13:5 says, Love takes no account…. It doesn't count up the evil done to it.
Back in the early days of our marriage, when Dave and I were fussing and fuming at each other, I would bring up stuff that happened years before and Dave would say, "Where do you keep all that stuff?" Well, I had a place, and it was all in there eating at me. And every new thing Dave did wrong would get added to this list, and it kept growing until it became a bitter giant in my heart.
2) Unforgiveness always boasts of its own record. - In Luke 15:29, the older brother of the prodigal son says "These many years I have never done wrong." Judgment always says that I always do good and others do bad. An unforgiving spirit keeps us from God's best for us.
3) Unforgiveness always complains. - "You never do anything for me." Ever catch yourself thinking that about someone? This attitude only sees what others aren't doing and doesn't see what they are doing. God's Word clearly shows that we're not supposed to complain. And if you're continuously using your mouth to complain about some incident of offense, you won't get past it. Don't waste time by complaining.
4) Unforgiveness has a martyr syndrome. - "I do all the work." Workaholics are particularly susceptible to this one. Sometimes people who work all the time and don't know how to enjoy their life get jealous when other people are enjoying life. Is there someone who aggravates you when you see them having a good time? If yes, you could have unforgiveness toward them.
5) Unforgiveness always alienates, divides and separates. - When the kids are acting up, we say "my husband's kids" or maybe something like, "What are you going to do about your son?" Those are divisive statements. Maybe you have a coworker who you stay away from as much as possible or a sibling you don't talk to much…why do you separate yourself from them? Maybe you need to forgive that person.
6) Unforgiveness is always envious and jealous when angry at someone who gets blessed. - If someone who has hurt you gets a blessing, it grates on you…at least it did for me until I learned how to forgive. Forgiveness is a decision—not a feeling.
When you pray for people who have hurt you, it's a choice. But there's healing in that for you. Bless and do not curse them means to speak well and not evil of them when that person is not around. And be good to them in various ways as wisdom allows.
Improve Your Life I want to encourage you today to make a decision to start living a lifestyle of forgiveness and refuse to be offended.
A forgiving lifestyle helps you become more like Christ. As you learn the importance of forgiveness and begin to practice forgiving others, your heart will heal from bitterness, and your personal growth will lead you to the promotions God has planned for you.
3/9/11
The Forgiveness Process
This one is a big one for me and for most of us, I am sure. Forgiveness is a very challenging part of our daily walk and it’s something that we frequently try to eliminate or pay little or no attention to. We all have our own explanations of what we consider to be forgiveness, and for the most part, our definitions naturally support what we are feeling, and specifically how we want to deal with our emotions. Whether it's the right way to forgive or the God-way to forgive....we do what feels right (for that moment) and what protects us from future hurts....right? (breathe)
Well thankfully, forgiveness is a process...
When we pardon someone of a wrongdoing, basically, we are doing three things:
1. First of all, we give up our right to “get even”. If we have been wronged, getting even is the likely reflex reaction. BUT we CAN resist the impulse!
2. Secondly, we revise our misrepresentation of that person who hurt us. When we have been deeply wounded by someone, without knowing it - we automatically re-draw a picture of that person, making him/her not primarily our friend or family, or the person we know...but they now become "the person that hurt us." So, in forgiving, we need to re-construct that image and see the person as a flawed, weak, imperfect human being - not much different from us - who hurt us plainly out of weakness.
3. Thirdly, we re-study our feelings. Prayerfully, our feelings of rage are transformed into a desire for that person's blessing and for that person's change...hopefully :)
Of course, this is a gradual process. God can forgive in a single moment, but we are finite, temporal creatures for whom almost everything takes time.
Forgiveness Builders:
- What are some ways you quietly "get even" when someone hurts you?
- How can you handle the hurt more constructively?
12/28/10
Looking back in forgiveness
http://www.examiner.com/christian-inspiration-in-oakland/looking-back-forgiveness
365 days in a year is a lot of time to make history. Much happens in a year whether you feel like it went quick or slow. Life in a year can bring fond memories or horrible nightmares. One thing is certain in 365 days, a lot happens in a year.
As we wrap-up the year 2010, it’s important to prepare our hearts, minds, and spirits to successfully transition from the year 2010 into the New Year 2011. In order to move forward, we have to let go of some ‘things’ and leave some ‘things’ behind.
Moving forward is a choice and it doesn’t automatically happen at 12:00 am January 1, 2011.
Memories which make our history can never be forgotten because they are part of our journey, our past, our history; whether it’s an event, person, or thing we’ve experienced. History is created by occurrence, experience, and memories which can serve to push us into our future or keep us locked in our past.
The memories that you should be concerned about the most in these next couple of days are the memories in 2010 and earlier that have historically hindered you from moving forward spiritually and mentally. Memories that act as mental and spiritual prison cells are caused by pain, rejection, fear, disappointment, and failure. These negative memories that are connected to emotions paralyze you from any forward progress and keeps you from your destiny.
You can’t deny these occurrences and experiences never happened nor can you ignore the fact that they affect you. In order to move forward with these memories as simply memories and not hindrances, is through forgiveness.
Forgiveness is the prerequisite to moving forward. As long as you hold on to unforgiveness and regret, that same grip will keep you from progressing; and from moving forward.
You have to ask the Holy Spirit in these next couple of days to help you forgive yourself for making bad decisions, forgive your past for the disappointment it may have brought, and most of all to help you forgive others that may have caused you pain.
When you learn to forgive, you allow God to remove the power of negative memories so that you can move forward in faith.
Zig Ziglar said ‘Mistakes are events, not people, and yesterday ended last night’.
You are not a mistake or an accident, and your future has not been determined yet. Allow yourself to forgive so that you can receive healing and faith to move forward.
Matthew 5:23-24 (New International Version, ©2010)
23 “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.
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