The Forgiveness Process

This one is a big one for me and for most of us, I am sure. Forgiveness is a very challenging part of our daily walk and it’s something that we frequently try to eliminate or pay little or no attention to. We all have our own explanations of what we consider to be forgiveness, and for the most part, our definitions naturally support what we are feeling, and specifically how we want to deal with our emotions. Whether it's the right way to forgive or the God-way to forgive....we do what feels right (for that moment) and what protects us from future hurts....right? (breathe) Well thankfully, forgiveness is a process... When we pardon someone of a wrongdoing, basically, we are doing three things: 1. First of all, we give up our right to “get even”. If we have been wronged, getting even is the likely reflex reaction. BUT we CAN resist the impulse! 2. Secondly, we revise our misrepresentation of that person who hurt us. When we have been deeply wounded by someone, without knowing it - we automatically re-draw a picture of that person, making him/her not primarily our friend or family, or the person we know...but they now become "the person that hurt us." So, in forgiving, we need to re-construct that image and see the person as a flawed, weak, imperfect human being - not much different from us - who hurt us plainly out of weakness. 3. Thirdly, we re-study our feelings. Prayerfully, our feelings of rage are transformed into a desire for that person's blessing and for that person's change...hopefully :) Of course, this is a gradual process. God can forgive in a single moment, but we are finite, temporal creatures for whom almost everything takes time. Forgiveness Builders:

• What are some ways you quietly "get even" when someone hurts you?
• How can you handle the hurt more constructively?

Leviticus 19:18 Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord.