Living with Unmet Desires - Week One

What is Jealousy?
Envy, covetousness, resentment, suspicion, distrust; jealous resentment against a rival, a person enjoying success or advantage, etc., or against another's success or advantage itself; mental uneasiness from suspicion or fear of rivalry, unfaithfulness, etc., as in love or aims; vigilance in maintaining or guarding something; a jealous feeling, disposition, state, or mood: to be zealous, in a bad sense or envy; to create, to procure, jealousy, as of a husband, or an enemy, malice, emulation, envy, fervent mind, indignation (annoyance) to be hot and fervent.

 

According to our workbook (Living with Unmet Desires), jealousy is defined as the following things:

 

• Symptom of a broken heart
• Symptom of a deeper heart issue
• Unbelief that beckons jealous thoughts through the doors of our heart
• We are unable to think well of others
• Pure devastation in our relationships

 

The four core issues of a jealous heart:

1. God, can I trust you? This question is not do I trust you, its can I? This is much more personal. It’s like telling God that you have heard of all the great things that He can do and has done, but can you trust Him with your life? Specifically, you! Trust is a big issue for us because we have been broken and burned so many times that our trust radar is always up and on alert. We just cannot afford to go through one more hurt, right? We play this game with God as if he is just a regular friend of ours; which we share a secret with or some story and we start off like that… friend, can I trust you with this?

 

Trust defined: assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something: one in which confidence is placed

 

If we cannot place our trust in God, then we cannot believe anything that comes from Him. Trust and faith are joined together. They are both something that you cannot rely on your own strength for.

Our trust in God is something the enemy would LOVE to steal from us…. Psalm 22:9 tells us of when our need for trust began and with whom. Exercise on lower page 14 is what happens when our trust in someone is broken. These emotions that we feel is something that the enemy is looking for…because when we feel alone, rejected, and confused…then, he decides to come in with the lies.

  

2. God, do You love me? – LOVE – have to have it, right? This is something that most, if not all of us, yearn for…single, married, dating, whatever…. We all want to love, and to be loved.

 

5 different types of love:
Eros is a passionate love, between a man and a woman with sensual desire and longing. The Modern Greek word "erotas" means "(romantic) love". However, eros does not have to be sexual in nature. Eros can be interpreted as a love for someone whom you love more than the philia love of friendship. It can also apply to dating relationships as well as marriage. Although eros is initially felt for a person, with contemplation it becomes an appreciation of the beauty within that person, or even becomes appreciation of beauty itself.

 

Phileo, which means friendship in modern Greek, a dispassionate virtuous love, was a concept developed by Aristotle. It includes loyalty to friends, family, and community, and requires virtue, equality and familiarity. In ancient texts, philia denoted a general type of love, used for love between family, between friends, a desire or enjoyment of an activity, as well as between lovers. It is as the affection between two people drawn together in a relationship based on common interests.

 

Agapē means "love" in modern day Greek. It is the unfailing, selfless love that every single one of our hearts longs for. Agape is used in ancient texts to denote feelings for a good meal, one's children, and the feelings for a spouse. It can be described as the feeling of being content or holding one in high regard. The verb appears in the New Testament describing, amongst other things, the relationship between Jesus and the beloved disciple. This kind of love always considers the other person’s interest. The only way we can love this way, is if we are empowered by the Holy Spirit.

 

The problem with this is that we come to God with the understanding of what we have experienced love to be from the world…because that’s all we know. And so when God tells us He loves us, we have a hard time grasping the concept.

 

Storge means "affection" in modern Greek; it is natural affection, like that felt by parents for offspring. Rarely used in ancient works, and then almost exclusively as a descriptor of relationships within the family.

 

Thelema means "desire" in modern Greek; it is the desire to do something, to be occupied, to be in prominence.

  

3. God, are You good? The question in the book is “what do you do when the person who we believed has disappointed us the most in the area of being good to us is God Himself? This is a great question! Then the other part of this question deals with the presence vs the presents of God. Is God good only when we get things from Him or is He just a good God all together? How much do you and I equate the goodness of God with our personal happiness and comfort?

 

4. God, are You just? You know we look at our lives and compare it to the lives of others and we start asking God if certain things are fair….are they just… etc.

Read 1 Sam1:1-8

 

Making the choice to leave the pit. How do we get out of it? With God’s help, of course. First we need to recognize who God is, and secondly, examine our feelings and emotions…and see if they agree and accept God for who He is.

 

This is the battle in our minds.

Self Builders:

• Are you honest with yourself that you have once in your life asked one of those 4 questions?
• What has been the outcome?