Journey

“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end - Ursula K. Le Guin

You know what you want

You begin to think of achieving it

You start on the road to getting there

And what you thought would be a smooth ride

Turns out to be a roller coaster

At least some parts of it

What do you do? 

Panic, retreat, compromise, neglect, or ignore? 

No, you stay focused

Keep your eye on the finish line 

But also stay on alert as the future is made out of today's work and efforts 

And as today can bring its challenges and distractions

Today can also bring its lessons and disciplines

This will help to form who you become, and mold you into how you grow as a mature adult.

Take advantage of today and don't take it for granted..

Our walk

“Whenever you do a thing, act as if all the world were watching - Thomas Jefferson

Every time we do something, we have to pursue it with the intention of giving it our all, actually giving it 100% and focused on finishing the job. 

Unbeknownst to us (sometimes), there are people around us daily that depend on us, or look up to us, or admire us that hope to be where we are today, someday. We may or may not know them but they are out there - at our schools, our jobs, our churches and in our lives. 

Yes, our lives are ours and ours alone to live but our footprints leave marks of roads traveled and whether you want to believe it or not, they are there to be followed....therefore, someone is going to walk in them. 

That, we need to always be aware of. 

Happy Monday! 

Pay it forward

“When you are kind to someone in trouble, you hope they'll remember and be kind to someone else. And it'll become like a wildfire." - Whoopi Goldberg

We have all had that moment when we least expected it, when we didn't expect anyone to notice, when we weren't sure someone was  paying attention.....when  someone took the time and did something nice for/to us. I bet it felt good...right?

It only makes the world a better place when we do the same for someone else. Remember, what goes around comes back around... It's called paying it forward. 

What and who is on your "nice" agenda today?  

Decisions, decisions

“The truth of the matter is that you always know the right thing to do. The hard part is doing it." - H. Norman Schwarzkopf

Ever being faced with a choice to make that can either make or break you? Ever being at a crossroad and you aren't sure which way to go? Ok...what about this...have you ever felt your life today is a result of that particular choice that you made yesterday, five years ago, five months ago? 

This isn't to put some more guilt-trip on you but to help bring to the surface what is really going on. You may or may not know why some things are happening to you. Or you may be in a place where you need to decide on something that will alter your life/lifestyle forever. 

The bottom line is that you know the truth and truly, it'll set you free. Choice for some of us is, do we pick the path that is good for now but really bad for us later? And for others, what's the difference right? 

Each one of us knows our situation, where we stand, what we want and who we want to be. If any of these motivations lead us to a better way, then that should be our choice. 

...you pick ;)

Sow to reap

Everything a man plants today; is a representation of tomorrow's harvest - unlisted

This applies to everything we do. Whatever choices we make today, we have to live with the consequences tomorrow. It's as simple as that! No surprises! 

Jobs, homes, school options, relationships, friendships....these are some things that should take a lot of thought, prayer and confidence BEFORE we make the move. They are pretty much life changing experiences that can either be good for you in the long run or totally bad for you and your future. 

Be wise about today, so tomorrow makes sense and still falls within the "plan".  

Appreciate

“You need to be aware of what others are doing, applaud their efforts, acknowledge their successes, and encourage them in their pursuits. When we all help one another, everybody wins.“

Jim Stovall -

We all have people around us that either do ministry with us, work with us, do projects with us, are a part of some kind of group with us or are in our lives one way or another. 

What we fail to do (sometimes) is really appreciate others for what they are doing to get the work moving along. We forget that each person plays an integral part and each skill makes the end result happen. 

It's important to do this often so the team knows that you care and you have them in mind.

You never know what a little push in the right direction or a little encouragement can do for someone when they most need it.... 

They'll thank you for it later :)

Learning

“Mistakes are the portals of discovery.“

James Joyce (1882-1941);

We all make them...mistakes that is.....but what do we do while in the mistake, or after the mistake? 

A mistake is a result of a decision that we mis-take and have to experience. Every general experience is not a mistake but every mistake is certainly an experience to learn from. 

Your integrity and character is challenged by these choices that we make. However, don't beat yourself up forever. After each mistake, it is important that you learn from the experience, figure out where it went wrong and not repeat it again. If you are in  one now, figure out an exit plan and do all of the above.

Growing pains... 

Love

“Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.“

Bible -

We will never be able to comprehend the measure of love that a Father has shown to his children. Giving your life just to save others is the highest demonstration of unconditional love. It is in the same love that we are living in, breathing in, and forgiven in. 

So, no matter how sad your days get, no matter how bad the day was, no matter how lonely you may feel, or how hurt you have become, no matter how unloved you feel, or how unappreciated you think you are, no matter how resentful your heart feels, or how damaged your trust is.....know that there is one God (your Heavenly Father), that is always there to wrap His loving arms around you; and there is one Lord (Jesus), that identifies with your pain and is praying for and with you; and finally there is a Holy Spirit (the great Comforter), that is ever present to heal your wounded heart and give you everlasting peace.

Believing in this is your key to joy and happiness.

Think on these things....

Reflection

“The remarkable thing is that we really love our neighbor as ourselves: we do unto others as we do unto ourselves. We hate others when we hate ourselves. We are tolerant toward others when we tolerate ourselves. We forgive others when we forgive ourselves. We are prone to sacrifice others when we are ready to sacrifice ourselves.“

Eric Hoffer (1902-1983);

Bottom line: however way you are feeling is a reflection of how you treat others around you. If you aren't feeling loved and appreciated, it can be very difficult to appreciate someone else (this is very common in women, unfortunately). And if your day isn't going as smooth as you would like, you'll find that everything around you will seem to work your nerves and if you don't check your attitude, you'll be grumpy too! 

If and when this happens to you..... What do you do?    

Stop (immediately), sit back (and hold off from doing anything else), reflect (on your day, and how it all started), and if you can - start over! 

Living

“My whole life I've been telling myself, 'don't be afraid'. And it is only now that I'm realizing how ridiculous that is. Don't be afraid is like saying, 'don't move out of the way when someone tries to punch you' or 'don't flinch at the heat of fire' or 'don't blink'. Don't be human. I'm afraid and you're afraid and we're all always going to be afraid, because that's the point. What I should be telling myself is 'be afraid, but do it anyway'. Live anyway.“

Unknown -

There are some things that you just have to go for right away, no matter how scary it seems. But you have to be able to know the difference between "if I don't do it now, have I failed?" or "if I don't do it now, have I lost it forever?" 

Knowing when to move forward or back up and wait is maturity. The fear of jumping in can still be there in both instances but don't let it make you decide on an opportunity at the wrong time. 

I heard someone say - "think twice and cut once; meaning, don't try to fix one problem and create several more". 

Selah (i.e. meditate) 

Direction

“If a man does not know what port he is steering for, no wind is favorable to him."

Seneca (4-65);

Knowing where you are going is important for your state of mind and your navigation process. 

First decide where / what it's going to be, then align your daily actions towards the plan, be open to learning from mistakes along the way, be cautious of naysayers, resist all distractions, and stay in the intended lane.

There is nothing more satisfying than reaching the end and knowing that not only do you have what you always wanted, but you actually had full control, accompanied with wisdom and you played  a huge part in the process.

Being smart really pays off... ;)

How to grow ....

“The purpose of learning is growth, and our minds, unlike our bodies, can continue growing as we continue to live.“

Morris Adler (1870-1937);

The key is "continue". As you pass through life with the many responsibilities that you'll acquire, remember to stop - meet people, learn about them, stimulate your senses, listen to their upbringing, talk about yours, see beyond where they see things, open your heart to learn from them, receive blessings, receive favor, give back in return, pay it forward, pray for those people who have wronged you, seriously.... And then do it again and again and again.... 

We do this for our growth .... 

Values and you

"When your values are clear to you, making decisions becomes easier." - Roy Disney 

This is very true..... Every decision we make is hovered by our values, morals, beliefs etc. 

When they are good decisions, your spirit feels well because things are aligned right. When they are bad decisions, your inner man is a bit disappointed but the flesh is satisfied. 

Be cautious of the decisions we make....each choice can either grow us up. make us stronger-in faith and emotionally; or it could set us back a few more strongholds. 

It's your life...yes...use it as you see fit :)  

Character

“Personality can open doors, but only character can keep them open.“

Elmer G. Letterman 

The charm, first impression and nice smile will get you in the right job, right relationship. But your attitude, perception, integrity and character will either keep you or throw you out of a good deal.. 

While it is a great idea to always be yourself; it's also imperative that you hold back some and not give everything the first time or even at once! 

It's good to adjust your approach, depending on what you are going for (and then slowly expose who you are and how it can be beneficial to your season).

Basically be you, but give a little at a time :)

Motivation

“You've got to get up every morning with determination if you're going to go to bed with satisfaction.“

George Horace Lorimer (1899-1937);

With the right motivation, anything is attainable and possible. 

Let's hope and pray that each goal in mind is positive and not negative.  Everything we set our hearts to will surely come to pass. On the other hand, if you don't start off with your focus in the right place, you are most likely NOT to reach your goal for the day! 

You better believe that distractions are eager to sway you off a bit; and set you back some.... Be cautious of those... Be smart about escaping them too... 

In the end,  there is something gratifying about laying your head at night; and knowing that you did all that you set out to do. And if you didn't get to it all, there is a plan for tomorrow. 

Let each day count with its own assignment and let each assignment arrive at its specific destination. 

You can do it! 

Woman

“A woman is like a tea bag – you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water.”- Eleanor Roosevelt

I have always loved this quote!!! Happy Mother's Day to you all - yes to you non- mothers too! 

Being a woman, period, is a tough job! 

Much respect to you! 

You

"As you become more clear about who you really are, you'll be better able to decide what is best for you - the first time around."

Oprah Winfrey

The decisions we make, hopefully come from a place of knowing what's best for us. If you struggle with your identity; you'll find that your decisions and actions are always surrounded by other people's perception, their happiness, their needs and their conditions. 

If this is regular for you, it's unfortunate because you may find that you are unhappy often, satisfied momentarily until reality hits again, constantly trying to please people, always living up to others' expectations & standards.....etc. 

Knowing who you are eliminates all that.... You make fewer mistakes; and when you do, the guilt isn't so strong. 

Determine in your heart from here on out how you will approach life. Before any decision is made, seek counsel, think of yourself, your now, your future, your long term goals, your desires, your place of security, your needs etc; and if your next move is going to add to and benefit you (not just for now) but for the future as well....then by all means, make it! 

It's important to have a plan and weigh out all the scenarios; so you aren't spending time later doing damage control. 

Growing pains.... 

Praying??

“Passively listening to gossip or negative talk is implied agreement.“

Scott Hardy (born 1959);

We have all been there....at least once....

Where we spend time talking about someone and how terrible their situation is, and how we cannot believe what's happening to them is really happening, and what's worse is they are letting it happen, and how bad someone else is behaving, and why they are doing this and doing that....

While we say we are praying about it, we really aren't. Nowhere in the conversation do we take control and put a stop to the negative talk. On the contrary, we keep the fuel going.

Not to say that our intentions didn't start off right.... But we get caught up!

If we say "ok, let's stop talking negatively, and let's pray. And if we can't pray right now about this, then please don't include me in the negative talking"

See what that does for the conversation...

May sound extreme but if we are going to get better at this, then we have to get better at it :)

We are growing up ....

Promises

“Promises are the uniquely human way of ordering the future, making it predictable and reliable to the extent that this is humanly possible.“

Hannah Arendt (1906-1975);

The worlds is full of girls and boys that their parents made promises to them but never kept. The world is also full of adults that make promises to each other but really never meet up to their end of the bargain. 

This can really do some major damage to a persons emotions. However, it doesn't matter what age you are; a promise is a promise. Once you make it, and articulate it, you are obligated to make it happen - its all in your worlds and in your hands.

Don't waste words just so you can get beyond the moment. Don't lie to your children just so they can like you right now. Don't say things to your fiends if you know you aren't capable of accomplishing it.

Remember that your words are a representation of your character. Play it right... 

Strength

“That which does not kill us makes us stronger.“

Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900);

Not only is each day a blessing; it's also full of challenges that we are faced with. Question is: can we overcome them or do they just take us over altogether?  

As a believer in Christ, I stand in the promise that each test is an opportunity to grow. I can either choose to learn from it (victory) or allow it to wear me down (defeat). It's definitely not easy but the daily choice is up to me. 

Know that each roadblock you come to will only take you where you lead it. If you look at it as a death sentence, then that's what it's going to be. If you look at it with the lens of growth, the end result will work in your favor.

The important thing is knowing what you are facing, deciding how you are going to tackle it, walking that decision out, and trusting that God will see you through it. 

No test is permanent but the results can be depending on what you do in between. 

Hang in there or regroup....

Friends

A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow - William Shakespeare

Friends like this are rare and situations like this happen a whole lot. Everyone has moments where they are low and need a friend for support. As the friend, your role is to give the truth, yes; but also knowing when to "zip it" and listen. A listening ear is very hard to find.

Surely, there are times when you must tell it like it is, give the advice that they don't want to hear, help them make it through a season, support financially, hear what they have to say whether you like what you hear or not, stand your ground, be the voice of reason etc....but remember that for someone to call you a friend is a honor and privilege. Trust me, real good long-lasting friends don't come easy.

AND really, no one needs to befriend you ....but if you are given the opportunity, please use it kindly and treat the bond with respect.

Have a great day!

Truth and lies

When you're different, sometimes you don't see the millions of people who accept you for what you are. All you notice is the person who doesn't ― Jodi Picoult

And the same goes if you turn the statement the other way around. It doesn't matter how many people reject you for your uniqueness, the one person who values you is like a fuel to your existence. And if you aren't self-confident, you'll find yourself keeping that one positive person at arms length just so you can draw something special from them about you as needed.

It's important to love, value and respect yourself. God knew about you before He made you; therefore, there is nothing wrong with you or off about you.

Quit focusing on others' opinions about you and rest in God's definition of who you are.

Settle

The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for - Maureen Dowd

Settling into a situation isn't always a blindsided moment. Meaning, you are - most of the time - well aware of what you are doing. Sometimes it's settling for a job that you know you are overqualified for but you need it anyway. Or it could be a marriage that you know isn't going to work but you are desperate to be in that status. Or it could be a decision between you and another and you go for the "now" feeling and settle for a compromising situation. Whatever it is, if you didn't know before making the decision to settle, you know now - now that the settling is done.

Everytime you compromise, you get a lesser dose of what you signed up for. You know why? Because the reality of it all is right before you. So, you give yourself up to a situation which you should have been treated better....and since you certainly don't feel better after its said and done, you are really back to square one (on the inside) with a lot more baggage BUT on the outside, you are good!

Until you cut that habit loose, you'll be playing this game all your life. Question is....what's the situation worth?

Selah (meditate)

Trust

Trust isn’t something that is just given to you, it definitely must be earned. Trust in others as well as trust in yourself is something you must consciously do.
Once trust is lost, it’s very difficult to get it back.

It's like when people say "I didn't lie about everything" or "it's just a little lie, no big deal"!
Yes it is a big deal. A half truth is practically a whole lie. It doesn't matter how many fractions of what may seem like you are actually delivering the truth, everything you say in that many words is still a lie.

Do not be that person that cannot be trusted AND do not fall into trap of someone who can't ever deliver the truth.

Lies and distrust lead you in the path of never being a reliable person.

Lets change some things folks!

Love

Any woman can fool a man if she wants to and if he's in love with her.
- Julie Hintz

Interesting article:

There are times in our lives when we perceive love negatively. After a breakup, during fights, we are so vulnerable, that we refuse to picture our lives without the one person who means the world to us.
It's in times like these that we make irrational decisions that may or may not affect us later in the future.

Then again, there are times when someone loves us so much, we feel guilty for not being able to return the love that is normally expected. And its at these times, we give off our love (overtime) - to help the other person compensate for their feelings (out of obligation).

Whatsoever you sow, you shall reap. Relationships weigh much and it's imperative that the decisions we make in them are decisions that we are willing to hold as actions.

Happy Friday!

Who am I?

We do not choose to be born. We do not choose our parents. We do not choose our historical epoch, the country of our birth, or the immediate circumstances of our upbringing. We do not, most of us, choose to die; nor do we choose the time and conditions of our death. But within this realm of choicelessness, we do choose how we live - unknown

Life happens everyday and what we do with it is the most important responsibility you hold as a human being.

For me, my choices are grounded and found in the realization that my Creator made and fashioned me for greatness. In everything I say, think or do, I submit it and place it at the will of God. I know that my steps are ordered by Him; therefore fretting is hard, uncertainty doesn't stay here long, strength comes to me easy from on high, and conviction is nigh.

This is not to say that I am perfect; but I am striving with diligence towards it. The choices I make are wrapped around this 24/7.

It would be different if I didn't know my worth and what I am made of; but since I do, I make mental, emotional, verbal, physical and psychological choices with a sense of that understanding.

I pray the same for you :)

Happy Thursday good people!

Worry or not?

Worrying is like a rocking chair; it gives you something to do but doesn't really get you anywhere - unknown

Worrying is not only terrible but also an exhausting way of spending your precious time - especially if there isn't anything you can do to change a situation.

If things are not going the way you hoped or they should; that's the time to pray more and worry less. Getting stressed over it isn't helpful, it'll get you sick too.

Find a way to rest your weary soul in God's loving arms and let Him carry the weight of your burden.
Now, there's a much better place to lay your thoughts on.

Be free from worry....

Resistance

Temptation is very hard to resist. It’s hard to do the right thing and just say no; and much easier to submit to carnal desires. It’s even harder letting go even though you know deep down that you have to.

Temptation is very tempting and so filling with temporary pleasures that you don’t know how to say no (at the moment). It catches you in the "now" and just drags you down making everything seem like what they’re really not. You get so caught up in the moment and forget about everything else that matters.

Resisting .... even though it’s hard is way better than doing it. Being able to stand up to what’s right, not falling down, and knowing that you came up on top is a better feeling than the one you would have had in the end of the other choice.

To those of us that struggle with resisting temptation because we have let it drag us down for quite sometime now..... know that you are more than a conqueror, you are victorious in God and you are well able to stand up to temptation and say NO.
No matter how hard it is you, know that you can overcome it and winning for the first time is the best feeling ever. The more you win, the easier it is to starve the fleshly desires of temptation.
You are your own person and you control your own decisions; therefore choose wisely.

Happy Tuesday!

Judgement

Never pass judgment on others; as you really never know what each person has been through.

It is important to remember that we are all diverse and have different lifestyles and reasons for making the choices we make. With that said, be patient with each other; and keep your strong opinions to yourself.

Sometimes, the other person may be giving you a sign that they are unhappy or upset about something. Their actions could be giving you clues.....Ask them why they are choosing to behave or act the way they are. This may help you understand their actions and behavior.

If this person is your friend, then remember why they are your friend, and don't let one incident or action ruin that!

Resting in God's will

In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps - Proverbs 16:9

We are all faced with numerous things daily and its by the grace of God that we aren't insane. As long as we leave our hope and trust in God, He will always give us rest. This is my prayer for us:

Sovereign Father, thank you for your promise that brings me immeasurable peace, humility, and joy. Thank you for determining and directing every one of our steps. You're working all things together for our good, your glory and after the counsel of your will. You open doors no man can shut and you shut doors no man open. You oh God are the Lord of all things... including me.

Father, you're with us when we work hard to make good plans, in keeping with our understanding of the Scriptures. We commit our minds, wills and emotions into your good counsel. Help us to live with more of this confidence that Jesus is our Good Shepherd, our very present Lord, the reigning King, and our great Comforter. Because of Jesus, I'm confident your will is being done... on earth as it is in heaven. I rest in you lord!

Amen!

Friends

Friendship is like a bank account. You can't continue to draw on it without making deposits - Unknown

Keeping a friendship alive takes two. The only way to maintain a friendship is to be reciprocative, a good listener, know when to give advice and when to hold back, have each others back, spend time, pray for each other, be loyal etc...

And as you grow away, not apart but away from each other, you must never forget who was there for you when no one else was. Really really good friends are not easy to come by.

God sends people in our lives for a purpose; we need to appreciate them more and show it often.

Perfection

No one is perfect... that's why pencils have erasers - unknown

Yes there are things that we have set out to do that didn't turn out quite as we hoped it would. But what do we do after that??? You learn from the experience, realize you made a mistake, give yourself some credit for trying, try not to approach it the same way at your next attempt, accept the grace to start over and then begin again.

Life is full of these types of moments....how we bounce back is a test of our character and a reflection of how much we are willing to accept failure.

Happy Wednesday!

Truth telling

A lie has speed, but truth has endurance.
— Edgar J. Mohn

A lie told spreads far and long; and although the truth told can also do the same, truth holds more ground with stronger and deeper foundations.

If you add anything to the truth, you end up subtracting from it. Let your words be reliable, and not wishy-washy.
Remember, what you don't see with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Don't be the teller of something you know nothing about. Doing this doesn't make you likable (though you may think so); but what it does is give you momentary recognition....but once the truth surfaces, your credibility is ruined.

It's just not worth it: you are much more than that!

Time

Time is like a river. You cannot touch the same water twice, because the flow that has passed will never pass again. Enjoy every moment of life…. - unknown

A lot of "now" memories get lost because we really don't know how to stay in the moment.

Just because we are already in a very busy world; the more we need to be mentally, emotionally, physically and verbally in the moment with our friends, families, etc...

All moments do pass on but these particular memories can't afford to be lost. You'll need them later in life so you don't have to suffer through life's guilt and regret.

Swing your mood....

Need a mood change? Try one or more of these: Laughing hysterically, Shopping, Hugs, Giving presents, Sleeping in, Weekends, Jumping on a trampoline, Eating freshly baked chocolate chip cookies, Bubble baths, Turning up your stereo as loud as it will go...

You have to do what you need to do.. Don't stay down for long ;). Life MUST go on....with or without you!

Happy Saturday!

Life

On the first day God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years." The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I'll give you back the other ten."
So God agreed.

On the second day God created the monkey. God said, "Entertain people, do monkey tricks and make them laugh. I'll give you a twenty-year life span." The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years? I don't think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll do too, okay?"
And God agreed.

On the third day God created the cow. "You must go to the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves, and give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty years."
The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty and I'll give back the other forty."
And God agreed again.

On the fourth day God created man. God said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. I'll give you twenty years."
Man said, "What? Only twenty years? Tell you what, I'll take my twenty, and the forty the cow gave back, and the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back, that makes eighty, okay?"

Okay," said God, "You've got a deal."

So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, and enjoy ourselves; the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family; the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren; and the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.
- Unknown

Happy Friday folks!

Laughing

A good laugh heals a lot of hurts. — b L’Engle

Laughter is a very therapeutic exercise that has been proven to move you from a place of hurt, sadness and loneliness, into a place where you are free of the weight and full of joy.

It's ok to hurt, but know when to start laughing again. It's good for the heart and soul. The longer you stay hurt, your chances of growth are slim. The sooner you get healed and move forward, your chances of freedom and blessing are endless.

Hang on, better days are ahead :)

Strength

Anyone can give up, it’s the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that’s true strength.” - Unknown

It definitely comes from within and can also be a mental struggle to pull yourself together through a foggy moment. But know that in the midst of the battle, you are not alone and God is in control.

Stay calm and be strong!

Relationships

Love is not about finding the right person, but creating a right relationship. It's not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end - by Jumar

While I partially disagree with a part of this quote, I do appreciate the last statement ;).
In every relationship (and not just the romantic ones), you will be faced with challenges and hiccups. How you handle each one (separately) is what describes the core of your commitment to the other person and the nature of your union.

What do you take from every moment? What is the lesson learned from each "fight"?
If you are able to move beyond the present stuff, them you are well on your way in creating great stories, great memories and testimonials that you will both share about in years to come.

Happy Monday!

Being real

How important it is, for you to be honest and real. For you can only be real with someone else, if you have in fact practiced the exercise - unidentified.

I had a very very good hangout time with one of my big sisters yesterday. We talked, laughed, ate, were open, shared old and new experiences, lessons we learned during and after each one, exchanged ideas, and processed emotions around different topics.

It is healthy to take a step in building on a new or older relationship by just letting yourself enjoy the moment.

Appreciate

There has never been another you. With no effort on your part you were born to be something very special and set apart. What you are going to do in appreciation of that gift is a decision only you can make ~ Dan Zadra

There is something inside of you that isn't replicated elsewhere. No one else will ever be you, talk like you, think like you or ever be you. There might be something you do that may come close to someone else but hmmmm not really.

How you carry you is fully your responsibility and a very vital part in the equation. God created you fearfully and wonderfully - therefore hold yourself, your standards, your values, your respect in that same token.

Do you proud ;)

Bless

Do not stand on a high pedestal and take 5 cents in your hand and say, "here, my poor man", but be grateful that the poor man is there. So by making a gift to him you are able to help yourself. It is not the reciever that is blessed, but it is the giver. Be thankful that you are allowed to exercise your power of benevolence and mercy in the world - Swami Vivekananda

As you open your hands to bless another fellow, you create more room in yours to receive. Surely, the receiver is much appreciative but the condition of your heart is the real test here.

Beauty

The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depts.

These people have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen ~ Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

Beauty comes as much from the mind, heart, and soul as from the eye. Beauty is how you feel on the inside and how it reflects in your eyes. It is not something physical. You can be the most beautiful person on the outside but if your heart isn't clean or pure, it'll ooze out eventually.

Work from within and your beauty will rise up!

Change

Don’t spend time beating on a wall, hoping to transform it into a door. - Coco Chanel

There are certain things in our lives that are not where they ought or need to be. If you have identified anything to be in an odd place; and needs changing/fixing/adjusting, there is nothing wrong with attempting to help move along the process.

In the same token, after a couple of different ways to help make the change, you can tell if it'll be a productive effort or if you are wasting precious time.

If its a person you are working on, he/she will need to be on the same page or it won't work. If it isn't a person and just a situation; it needs proper wisdom, accompanied with sound knowledge to carry out the change.

What's your situation?

Desire

Desire: the starting point of all achievement - NAPOLEON HILL

For every thing you accomplish, it started with the ability to "want" to. If the desire doesn't exist, the drive and motivation won't carry you through to the end.

Gratitude

The way we perceive life most of the time, is wrong. Probably the biggest thing we all search for in life is happiness.

Most people who search for happiness think that money and fame will make their life perfect. As good as that sounds most of the time, that statement is not true at all. You have to be thankful for everything you know and do own.
Just when you want something better than you already have (Example: a new iPhone, iPad) remind yourself that someone in the world has never even had the privilege of using anything close to such technology.

There is somebody always better than you and always somebody less fortunate than you. Until you find the middle ground and accept what you have, you will not reach happiness.

So next time you doubt yourself think of this, and start appreciating what's already yours. Count your blessings and that is your source of happiness.

Happy Monday!

Resetting priorities

It doesn’t matter where you are, you are nowhere compared to where you can go-Bob Proctor

Guilt is such a terrible and poisonous bug, in that it eats you up so bad and fills you with regret. You start to look at where you are and dwell on "what am I doing here?", "why haven't I accomplished anything?", etc...

While these questions could be accurate, depending on your situation; do not spend a whole lot of time trying to figure out why but focus your energy on "how fast can I get out of here?".

Your dreams will only go as far as your heart and motivation will allow it to live. Do everything you can to get yourself to where you not only ought to be but where you need to be.

Your future is way brighter :)

Changes

They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself - Andy Warhol

Time by itself doesn't make anything better. You have to put some work in.
It's a scary thing at times to think differently, or to even think on you but it very well could be the best decision you have ever made.

Remember, no one else but you is responsible for you. And only you know the way things are now, and the changes you would like to make or see happen.

It may and will be hard, but with much prayer, wisdom from counsel and knowledge from God; where you are today doesn't have to be the final script.

Amen?

Patience

Learn the art of patience. Apply discipline to your thoughts when they become anxious over the outcome of a goal. Impatience breeds anxiety, fear, discouragement and failure. Patience creates confidence, decisiveness, and a rational outlook, which eventually leads to success - Brian Adams

Help

Never get tired of doing little things for others. Sometimes, those little things occupy the biggest part of their hearts - Unknown

It's really the little things that count. Extending a little help here and there can be tremendous for someone in need.

Never think you don't have enough to give. Whatsoever you can give does go a long way.

Be a Good Samaritan

Liked or loved?

I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not - Kurt Cobain

Everyone won't always be on your side BUT the idea of living isn't to be liked, it's to get your opinion out there.

The more you choose the likable decision and stand on the most-liked side of the fence, the more and more you disappear in the crowd.
Don't change who you are for popularity sake. Quit becoming someone else to fit the status-quo.

You are unique and inside of you lies unique thoughts, decisions, ideas, plans, creativity, motives, feelings, etc...
If you never or hardly exercise these sides of your personality, then you are gradually completely going to waste....and the world will never get to meet you.

You are here to make a difference, not to be liked. Stand your ground, and you'll gain respect for always being in your own skin.

Values

Values are like fingerprints. Nobody's are the same, but you leave 'em all over everything you do - Elvis Presley

Everything you do is a snapshot of what's really brewing inside your heart. It represents all you stand for, what your present convictions are, what your inner drive is and what motivates you.

It is important that what you say and/or do aligns with your standards, as once your actions are manifested, you aren't able to take it back.

Be cautious on what actually does come out....because it will be a picture of what you truly feel and it'll be speak on your behalf wherever you go!

In that respect, keep your standards high and your values deep...

Perspective

Some people grumble because roses have thorns; I am thankful that the thorns have roses - Jean-Baptiste Alphonse Karr

It's all about how we see things. You could choose to be depressed about your situation or you could be thankful that it isn't worse.

Our perspectives on life is connected to our outlook in general. How we see the people around us, the jobs we don't get, the places we can't visit, the cash we don't have, and the things we can't get; is a reflection on our inner thoughts and conclusions that we have mentally settled in.

A good lesson is to learn from every bad situation, take the good from it and then keep practicing.

Compromise

Compromise used to mean that half a loaf was better than no bread. Among modern statesmen, it really seems to mean that half a loaf is better than a whole loaf.
Chesterton, Gilbert K.

Whatever you allow to come in front of your values and morals; you will definitely be driven by it.

At some point, you make certain compromises that are just mere adjustments to growth. But there are other times that you make decisions based on feelings that will destroy your faith and what you originally stood for.

Don't find yourself in this place where you keep letting your guards down for the sake of momentary pleasures.

Your values are worth more than feelings!

Chance

If you judge people, you have no time to love them - Mother Teresa

Everyone deserves a chance in life. You cannot come to a full conclusion based on a 10-minute engagement with anyone. Yes, first impressions are important but are not always the true representation of who a person really is.

I don't care what people say about how you need to be yourself at all times and never to change for anyone. While this is 80% true, the other 20% is for when we have to adjust our attitudes and personalities, depending on the settings we find ourselves in.

You certainly wouldn't talk to a potential employer the same way you talk to your long time best friend; or speak to a bunch of preschoolers the same way you would to a grocer....right?

Now, because we can do this with our first impressions, then lets have some grace for others when we initially come across them.

Everyone, including you, deserves a chance to be known, heard and loved. And not judged!

Happy Saturday!

Compliment

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. - Leo F. Buscaglia

It's a good feeling to not only be seen, but also to be noticed.
You know how nice it feels when a friend says something nice (directly) to you.

In the same token, extend the favor and brighten someone's day. Bless someone today with a nice comment or gesture!

Happy Friday!

Struggles

Don't let your struggle become your identity - Ralston Bowles

I'm finding that a lot of us have kept our struggles alive this long, so much that it has actually become a part of what makes us normal.

I heard a preacher say that "your troubles have an expiration date".
If this is true, then imagine someone who constantly keeps drinking spoiled milk, when they know that it is expired! Sounds crazy, right??

Well, this is how it is with our struggles. We have to know that when its over, it's over. Don't re-live it every time you talk about it. Don't keep reminding everyone of how hardcore you are. Stop making those stories and experiences who you are. Yes, it draws attention to you but it can also push people away from you if you are constantly guarded!

Life's struggles are normal but what we learn from the experiences are what shapes our personalities, not the challenge itself.

Convictions

When a woman is known to have no settled convictions of her own, she can't convict other people - Twain

This is such a hard one for me... yes it is! The older I'm getting, I'm realizing that the convictions I used to share with my peers (back in the day) are no longer common amongst us. This is not to judge but it is in fact a truthful and quite sad reality.

What worries/concerns me is that we have grown so accustomed to the things we used to dread; now, it's become so much a part of our lives that its the absolute new normal.

I believe that the more we practice these immoral, unGodly and/or comprising ways; the day will come when we will be a slave to it - 100%! What you tolerate in the valley, you will bow down to on your way up!

Lord, may our convictions be strong as ever and may it be high up on the radar at all times! So we can discern clearly!

Blessing #2

There is so much about my fate that I cannot control, but other things do fall under the jurisdiction. I can decide how I spend my time, whom I interact with, whom I share my body and life and money and energy with. I can select what I can read and eat and study. I can choose how I'm going to regard unfortunate circumstances in my life - whether I will see them as curses or opportunities. I can choose my words and the tone of voice in which I speak to others. And most of all, I can choose my thoughts - Elizabeth Gilbert

At this point of your life, hopefully, you are no longer blaming some person(s) from a past hurt for the way you turned out. At some point, you....(not your uncle or your first grade teacher) ....is fully responsible for all the actions that you manifest.

Your thoughts, words, reactions, friends, goals, decisions are all some of the little big things that make you a grown-up.

Think hard on your life's journey, make a plan that works well in your favor and choose the path wisely!
It's all up to you!

Blessing

When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around.
Willie Nelson

If you live the life you love, you will receive blessings. Sometimes the great famine of blessings in and around us derives from the fact that we are not living the life we love; rather, we are living the life that is expected of us.

Kind

It’s important to make someone happy, and it’s important to start with yourself.

One of our commandments is to love your neighbor as yourself, right? We often read this as if its saying to pour out unconditional love for a neighbor, a stranger..etc. But what it's also saying is to give a fellow human being the same respect, love and care that you uphold yourself with.

How you treat people is a reflection of how you feel about you.
Think about it, if you aren't happy with the situation you are in, it's very difficult and almost impossible to be super excited for someone that is doing really great! In fact, you can be pretty annoyed about their happiness!

This is why, no matter what you are going through, it's very important to count it all joy. This prevents you from going into depression and loneliness. And ultimately, will help with how you handle your neighbors.

Be kind to you, and be kind to others.

Boundaries

Your personal boundaries protect the inner core of your identity and your right to choices - Gerard Manley Hopkins

Most of us have seen a "no trespassing" sign posted on private property at one time or another. It sends a clear message, that “if you cross the line you will be prosecuted!”
On the other hand, personal boundaries are limits or borders that define where you end and others begin. It is basically the amount of physical and emotional space you allow between yourself and others. It determines what types of communication, behavior and interaction you accept from others. The type of boundaries you set defines whether you have healthy or unhealthy relationships.

Your physical boundaries need to be strong in order to protect you from harm. It includes your body, clothes, shelter, safety, money, space, noise, your sense of personal space, privacy etc.

Your emotional and intellectual boundaries are just as important. They protect your self-esteem, and your ability to separate your feelings from the feelings of others. They also include beliefs, behaviors, choices, relationships and responsibilities.

Setting boundaries is essential if we want to be both physically and emotionally healthy. Strong boundaries help maintain balance, self-respect and allow us to be interdependent in relationships. A lack of boundaries is like leaving the door to your home wide open, anyone, including welcome and un-welcome guests can walk in without hesitation.

Be smart about you!

Happy Friday good people!

Relationships

9 Warning Signs Of A Dysfunctional Relationship

Dysfunctional relationships are relationships that create more emotional turmoil than satisfaction. Relationships are part of the human experience. But what happens if one or both people have never been involved in a happy relationship, or had one modeled for them as a child? Chances are they will participate in a dysfunctional relationship.

A dysfunctional or an about-to-be dysfunctional relationship always has warning signs. Here is a list of some:

1. Addictive/obsessive attitude: When one develops an addictive or obsessive attitude and seems overly focused on themselves or the other.

2. Imbalance of power: You always feel that you are the only one working at 150% at making the relationship work. It is not a good sign when they seem to make no effort at all.

3. Tensions show up regularly: Little things that cause tension are always present..... Like money, friends, love, work or anything else, but they seem to take on a disproportional importance.

4. Feeling cornered: either of the partners can get a feeling of being cornered or trapped into a situation that s/he would not like to have got into in the first place.

5. Inferiority/superiority complex: If any one of the partners in a relationship begins developing an inferiority/superiority complex. Relationships are based on equality and trust; therefore no one should consider himself superior or inferior in comparison to the other.

6. The feeling of frustration: Every relationship has little frustrations here and there, but when they persist and just keep cropping up as soon as one is dealt with, something is certainly wrong.

7. Constant unhappiness: If you do the "are you happy" check often, then something isn't just right! ? If you are constantly unhappy or mentally bogged down, because there is a nagging doubt or a feeling that something is not going right, it is time to evaluate the situation. This can happen when you just cannot reconcile your desires, your feelings and your needs with the other person and neither can he, with yours.

8. Being unsure and insecure: You are so unsure of yourself that you hesitate to do things. So you spend a lot of time thinking about what if it would end up causing a rift in your relationship. In other words, when you go from being spontaneous to overcautious about doing things you like to do. Being unsure brings with it a feeling of insecurity.

9. Fear, jealousy, obsession, non-involvement, manipulation, distrust, suspicion, disrespect and an uncaring attitude are the usual suspects. If there is continuity in any of these behavioral traits, then your relationship is on its way to being past history.

These are a few warning signs of a dysfunctional relationship. If you happen to notice any of these, take preventive measures immediately and address the situation. As you may already know, band-aid measures won't work, look for long-term solutions. Perhaps the most commonly used and least effective solution to problems in relationships is to ignore them and hope they go away. They never go away unless addressed and taken care of - in love.

All the best....

Make me feel special

There is no greater thing that we can do in each human interaction than to make the other person feel special.

Now, this is not done by phony and insincere words, but by creating a feeling of acceptance in the other person. A feeling that you know them, their feelings and accept them just the way they are.

And no, you don't have to agree with everything they say or do. What you must do, however, is hear what they say and respect their right to feel as they feel.

Even marketers no longer believe in "generic mass marketing" they strive to make every consumer feel "special" and unique, even though they (the customer) have purchased the exact same product as million others have.

Every person feels that there is something they want to improve about themselves and that there is a way to do it. But, as many of us have learned, we do not make lasting changes because we were made to feel "unspecial" by harsh criticisms.

It takes a special person to make every person that they encounter feel this specialness, but it's a goal worth reaching for. It could even bring about world peace!

.... Great read!

Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is as important to our well-being as legs are to a table. It is essential for physical and mental health and for happiness - Louise Hart

You cannot do without it! Either yours is high or it's low: but you are never without your self esteem.

It is your self esteem that gets you going each day. A high self esteem is backed up by motivation, drive, passion, self-respect, self-worth, dignity and pride; while a low self esteem is supported by depression, disrespect, loneliness, fear, neglect and shame.

It is important to always keep you at the center of you. Yes, very important because no one is going to take you higher than you want or keep you lower than you need to be - without your permission.

You are the landlord/landlady of your heart and emotions. Don't toy with it and don't allow anyone else to.
All of you is what makes you the person that you are. Your happiness depends on it ;)

Tests

A good instructor doesn't give you a test without teaching you the lesson. For every test you face, you have in you the knowledge and wisdom to pass with an 'A' grade - Patrick Kiteley

We have a way to feel incapable of making it through challenges in life. While some of us pray that God will give us the strength to make it, some of us pray that God will take it away.

When you take a test, your memory recollects what you studied prior to the test. The real fear is did we study enough? How much did we learn from the class that will help us get through this? What do you have stored up that you can easily pull from?

That's how it is with tests of life. We are supposed to get smarter and smarter each time around. Or we will spend a whole lot of time re-taking the test and/or repeating the class!

Remember, you are tested because you've been taught.

Words

You are a master of the words you don't say and a slave to the ones you do - unknown

You know how sometimes you keep your thoughts to yourself because you feel inadequate or unheard as is; and you pretty much feel like there is nothing you can say that will grant you any attention. . So you hold your peace!

I was talking with a colleague on Friday and she shared some information with me (that was a few days late) and was much needed on Wednesday; but she felt that she didn't want to bother anyone with her thoughts so she stayed quiet about it. Needless to say, the information she had was crucial and if she would have spoken up sooner, it would have saved us a few hours that we spent brainstorming instead!

Remember, whatever it is that you have in mind and don't speak up on may be the very words that can change a situation. And the ones that you do "think out loud", you will be held accountable to.

Think twice, speak up!

Disposition

I have learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances - unknown

There are two different kinds of people: the ones who have suffered adversity and as a result - no matter what good they face - they cannot seem to enjoy or even appreciate it.
Then there are the ones who have too suffered adversity and as a result - all new challenges are yet another reason to grow up - they find a way to "count it all joy".

Your disposition in life is what draws people to and away from you. If you are always offended, and in the "woe is me" attitude, you may not find a lot of friends in your circle. Although you may feel the people are the problem, its really you.

On the other hand, if you have some fight in you and are always in the encouraging spirit, people will hang out with you because of your ability to take life as it comes but overcome its challenges.

Which one are you?

Living

The future is not a result of choices among alternative paths offered by the present, but a place that is created–created first in the mind and will, and then created next in activity. The future is not some place we are going to, but one we are creating - unknown

Your life isn't going to start to happen in 3 weeks, 3 months or 3 years: you are what you are going to be now. However, this may or may not be where you will end up. The choice and control is ultimately yours.

The decisions you make now, will determine if the person you are today is a younger version of who is to come; or if what we see is all there will ever be.

What do you want to be when you grow up? You are it right now!

Resentment

Great article:

The dictionary claims that "to resent" is "to take strong exception to (what is thought to be unjust, unfair, etc.)," but I feel that resentment goes much further than that. If I were to define resentment, I would say: Its a poisonous emotion that eats away at a person's peace of mind, mental well-being, and ability to treat others well.

Resentment is a lack of acceptance and a lack of forgiveness. Resentment says volumes about the person who resents, but very little about the people or actions that are resented.

It's very easy to fall into the trap of resentment--other people put us in position to do so almost daily when they do things that are unthinking or uncaring. Someone else may get the job or the admission into a school even though you're far more qualified; someone may not invite you to a party to which they've invited everyone else; someone else may meet with great success even though they don't work nearly as hard as we do; someone may say something rude to us or about us behind our backs. But what do all these things mean? These are all other people's actions, reflections of other people's personalities or abilities, yet we allow them to cause us to become resentful.

You cannot afford to allow these things to mess you up! You have your whole life ahead if you and that's all that should be and IS important to you.

Shake it off and be free...

Business Talk

If you don't drive your business, you will be driven out of business." - B. C. Forbes

I was business-talking with one of my sisters last night and we were exchanging thoughts on business partnering, including it's advantages and disadvantages.

We both felt strongly about how business partnering happens, who carries the vision, who executes it, when is a good time to evaluate/re-evaluate, was partnering a good and God idea, how are costs handled, who is on the creativity side of the house, who is on the peoples' side of the house, do you go solo....etc. These are all practical things that it takes to start and run a business.

Business building takes time, depending on the nature of the business and its carriers but it can be at a comfortable steady pace if you understand its music.

Whatever your role is in a business, be 150% in maintaining your drive, motivation, DNA, and culture. And if you run out of steam and are done with it or the team altogether, then a grown-up conversation must be had so you can part ways respectfully.

Mature stuff ;)

Laziness

She has a head that is for rent unfurnished - Anonymous Quotes (revised)

Basically: here is a mind, it's got nothing in it, but is up for grabs. Do as you will with it....

It is a scary thing to have a brilliant mind go to waste or get filled up with useless thoughts. This is why it's important to keep your thoughts contained with plans and ideas, that support your dreams and aspirations; and ultimately lead you to your destiny.

Stay away from negative thoughts. Don't feed your mind with pointless temporary ideas. Stay focused and accomplish your goals.

Keep your mind at some good work!

Why wait?

Waiting is a trap. There will always be reasons to wait. The truth is, there are only two things in life, reasons and results, and reasons simply don't count - Robert Anthony

There are many ways to avoid success in life, but the most common just might be procrastination. Procrastinators sabotage themselves and put obstacles in their own path. This is a choice of path that hurts your performance.

Statistics show that 20% of people identify themselves as chronic procrastinators. For them procrastination is a lifestyle, and it cuts across all domains of their life. They don't pay bills on time. They miss opportunities for buying tickets to concerts. They don't cash gift certificates or checks. They file income tax returns late. They leave their Christmas shopping until Christmas eve.

Procrastination is not a problem of time management or of planning. Procrastinators are not different in their ability to estimate time, although they are more optimistic than others. "Telling someone who procrastinates to buy a weekly planner is like telling someone with chronic depression to just cheer up," insists Dr. Ferrari.

Lets get it together people! :)

Happy Monday!

Hardworking

Enter every activity without giving mental recognition to the possibility of defeat. Concentrate on your strengths, instead of your weaknesses… on your powers, instead of your problems.”–Paul J. Meyer

Let’s face it – no matter how excited you are about a new project or priority in your life, there will always be days when your motivation lags a bit. Days when – despite all the progress you’ve made in the past – it just sounds easier to sit on the couch than to buckle down and crank out the work needed to meet your goals.

In order to be successful, you must be able to motivate yourself past these humps. So whenever you feel your drive and determination lagging, turn to what you need to provide you the extra spark of passion needed to keep you on track.

Hang in there and finish strong!

Integrity

In looking for people to hire, you look for three qualities: integrity, intelligence, and energy. And if they don't have the first, the other two will kill you —Warren Buffet

Perspective

I certainly don't regret my experiences because without them, I couldn't imagine who or where I would be today. Life is an amazing gift to those who have overcome great obstacles, and attitude is everything!
- Sasha Azevedo

Your perception about things is a result of your life's journey. This is the way you see things, how you feel about it, what you think it means, which words you choose to say, how you emote, and what actions actually manifest from all of it.

Some of these moments can do you good or bad: it all depends on your attitude. Happiness is an attitude of choice. No one can determine this for you, but you! We either make ourselves depressed and miserable (by choosing to marinade in our past sorrows and fears), or happy and strong (by choosing to overcome them and leave them exactly where they belong - in the past).
The amount of work is really the same.

Choose now how you will live out the rest of your life. Better or worse? Or the same?
It's all up to you!

Happy Friday!

Anger

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret. - Ambrose Bierce

It's amazing how much comes out of us in times of anger. If you are like me, I say exactly what I mean and mean what I say - angry or not!! (yikes).

We do have to be careful what and how we communicate in those tense and highly emotional moments because the damage control later on can be much worse.

It is ok to get mad, but if you can and its not even worth talking about, then get over it. If you are still troubled in 3 days about it, then by all means, discuss the issue. Typically, at this point, the discussion wouldn't be so clouded by anger, but by concern. The idea is to direct your anger towards the problems and not the person.

We have got to do better and learn to control our out of control reactions!

Meditate on this...